Comforting puppy when fearful or ignoring the puppy?

[sparkle4ever]

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This is my take on your prospective trainer's behaviour plus your puppy's.

Sometimes all of us make mistakes, and this is a comment not a criticism, and a generalisation not a specific.

The thing to do about mistakes is to acknowledge what we have learned from them and move on.

This trainer sounds unsuitable. Yes you have paid the fee, yes she has this and that qualification in an unregulated area - the qualifications are unregulated too.

If you enjoy the challenge, by all means carry on, being prepared to question everything and research from where these ideas originate. Plenty of people start with one idea - even the people who started out with dominance theory! and later realise they were mistaken and have the moral fibre to say so. But the theories remain out there and still peddled by others. Personally, I would cut my financial losses and move on to a more aware and less didactic trainer. Money can be replaced by other money, but each puppy is unique.

I also suggest you have a look at Emma Judson's site. She is personally known to me, and a few others here, and one of the most skilled empathetic trainers working today.

All the best with whatever you decide, and we are all here for you.

Thank you. Oh yes, we all make mistakes. Bound to happen and I knew it would. I don't beat myself up for the mistakes and the ones bound to come still.
But the trainer, I think we have to try with her. And I have extremely low expectations. Because straight away I can see a problem in that our pup is frightened of other dogs. This is just something I believe he will overcome in time, with exposure, but she will probably say don't comfort him and I will tell her to get stuffed, amongst other reasons. So will let you know if we are escorted from the building!
But finding another trainer is hard. Possible, but hard. I have agoraphobia so that is a bit of an issue. This one is very close by. I cope well with the agoraphobia incidentally (had it for over 20 years).
Will look at Emma Judson's site, thank you.

 

[JoanneF]

Is there a Dogs Trust near you? Their classes get a great reputation.

And Emma (who is indeed a superstar) is at

Home | thecanineconsultants

www.thecanineconsultants.co.uk

 

[sparkle4ever]

Thank you. If all else fails, I think she does do online support.
The nearest Dogs Trust is over two hours away unfortunately.
Will let you know how the class does go

 

[JoanneF]

How did it go @sparkle4ever ? Did you get thrown out of the class for insubordination?

 

[sparkle4ever]

Barley was basically the star of the class! (well I think so ). He started off incredibly shy, hiding under a seat and as time went on, he was the life and soul and responded to recall, trotting around, laughing at the other dogs, trying to play with them (in a reserved way) and his confidence grew and grew...in just an hour! Before that, he was frightened of people and dogs. He sat and looked cute while the other pups barked. I didn't say too much, I just let him steal the show .
The trainer was okay. She's been doing it forever. Think she was a little wary of me from our emails but I decided not to say too much (unless she'd started with that fear stuff, and no reassurance) and tried to enjoy it but think I was more tired than Barley at the end of it!
Thank you for asking Joanne

 

[JudyN]

You must have been so proud of him

My tuppence-worth on comforting... To me, there is a difference between comforting and reassuring. If there's a storm, we don't want to crawl under the table with them, hold them tight and convey 'I know, it's awful, isn't it, you poor dear.' You want more to convey 'Actually, it's OK really, but hey, how about you sit on the sofa by me and I'll stroke you and you'll be fine.'

Also, sometimes it's helpful to ignore the trigger. On one occasion, my dog heard a rumble of thunder, lifted his head and looked worriedly at me. On seeing that I wasn't reacting at all, he settled back down again. It would be a different matter if he had become really anxious, of course (this was the one time when he would ask to get on the sofa - he wasn't generally allowed on a sofa when we were on it as he had sofa-sharing issues, but he felt safe on the sofa, and he knew we would let him on when he needed it).

 

[sparkle4ever]

You must have been so proud of him

My tuppence-worth on comforting... To me, there is a difference between comforting and reassuring. If there's a storm, we don't want to crawl under the table with them, hold them tight and convey 'I know, it's awful, isn't it, you poor dear.' You want more to convey 'Actually, it's OK really, but hey, how about you sit on the sofa by me and I'll stroke you and you'll be fine.'

Also, sometimes it's helpful to ignore the trigger. On one occasion, my dog heard a rumble of thunder, lifted his head and looked worriedly at me. On seeing that I wasn't reacting at all, he settled back down again. It would be a different matter if he had become really anxious, of course (this was the one time when he would ask to get on the sofa - he wasn't generally allowed on a sofa when we were on it as he had sofa-sharing issues, but he felt safe on the sofa, and he knew we would let him on when he needed it).

Yes, I totally agree. It is the context of the situation. But I don't think the trainer is a (ahem) complex thinking person...more generalisations. Just ignore frightened pup (in most part), the end. Lol.