Fao Sarahloveland

[Painted Lady]

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[SIZE=21pt]bye hely :* [/SIZE]

 

[trac]

[SIZE=21pt]bye hely[/SIZE] :huggles:

 

[Painted Lady]

[SIZE=14pt]psst trace..put a pic of a big fat munter on for trish..hehe[/SIZE]

 

[trac]

[SIZE=21pt]especially for you hely[/SIZE] :wub: :- "

 

[Painted Lady]

A woman accompanies her husband to the doctor's office.

After his check-up, the doctor calls the wife into his office alone. "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder," he says. "If you don't do the following, your husband will die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant to him at all times. For lunch, make him a nutritious meal. In the evening, prepare something exceptional for him, because it's important that he eats as varied a diet as possible. Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him, as it will only make his stress worse. No nagging. Make all his calls for him, and learn to use his Blackberry. And most importantly, make love to him at least six or seven times a week. If you can do this for the next ten months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asks his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die."

 

[Painted Lady]

The CIA are interviewing three potential agents- two men and a woman. For the final test, they bring one of the male candidates to a door and hand him a revolver.

"We must know that you will follow instructions, no matter what," says the interviewer. "Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her."

"You can't be serious," says the man. "I could never shoot my wife."

"Then you're not the right man for the job," says the CIA chap.

The second man is given the same instructions. Five minutes later, he emerges with tears in his eyes and says "I can't."

Finally, the woman is given the test, but with her husband. She takes the gun and enters the room. Shots are heard, then screaming, crashing and a lot of banging. After a few minutes, she comes out and wipes the sweat from her brow. "You didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks," she says. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

 

[Painted Lady]

Three sisters, Monica, Phoebe and Fanny are all invited to a party, so they go to buy new dancing shoes. Monica comes home with a new pair of size 7 stilettos, Phoebe buys a pair of size 8 strappy sandals but poor Fanny, who takes a manly size 14, is forced to go in men's brogues. At the party, Fanny sits alone in the corner, watching her sisters hoof it up on the dance floor.

While they're dancing, two men approach and point down at their feet: 'Wow, those are huge!' one of the men exclaims.

'If you think those are big,' replies Monica proudly, 'wait till you see our Fanny's!'

(w00t) (w00t)

 

[hely]

[SIZE=21pt]especially for you hely[/SIZE] :wub:   :- "

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[SIZE=21pt]that is disgusting trac have some respect :unsure: [/SIZE]

and sarah, your bloody jokes are crap :- "

 

[trac]

[SIZE=21pt]especially for you hely[/SIZE] :wub:   :- "

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[SIZE=21pt]that is disgusting trac have some respect :unsure: [/SIZE]

and sarah, your bloody jokes are crap :- "

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[SIZE=21pt]sorry hely[/SIZE] :huggles: :huggles:

[SIZE=21pt][/SIZE]

still tetchy i think from being called old :- "

 

[hely]

[SIZE=21pt]NOPE [/SIZE]

guess i had better get changed, got bill's and betsy's swimming lessons in a bit, and my jeans are covered in mud from gypo's walk better make a effort or the other mums will think im a right old scruff bag ..........(no comment) :wacko:

 

[Painted Lady]

[SIZE=21pt]there is a programme on tonight about sandbanks...the beach where i take the whipps...got that piers morgan mush presenting it[/SIZE]

 

[trac]

[SIZE=21pt]NOPE [/SIZE]


guess i had better get changed, got bill's and betsy's swimming lessons in a bit, and my jeans are covered in mud from gypo's walk   better make a effort or the other mums will think im a right old scruff bag ..........(no comment) :wacko:

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:- "

 

[hely]

[SIZE=21pt]might just watch that, we have been there before :thumbsup: [/SIZE]

 

[Painted Lady]

[SIZE=21pt]especially for you hely[/SIZE] :wub:   :- "

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[SIZE=21pt]my eyes are drawn to that area.....eeuurrghh shite that is stomach churning[/SIZE]

 

[hely]

[SIZE=21pt]what you mean his plums :- " [/SIZE]

 

[Painted Lady]

[SIZE=21pt]might just watch that, we have been there before :thumbsup: [/SIZE]

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[SIZE=21pt]shame i didnt know about the filming of it...would done a streak along the beach....few handstands, leap frog over the bins... :teehee: [/SIZE]

 

[Trish]

[SIZE=21pt]sarah i dont believe your encouraging trac to put big fat munters on you know it turns my stomach :x [/SIZE]

 

[trac]

[SIZE=21pt]i will record that i have just seen the bit in the tv mag where it says that houses are selling for up tp £8 million[/SIZE]

 

[Painted Lady]

[SIZE=21pt]i will record that i have just seen the bit in the tv mag where it says that  houses are selling for up tp £8 million[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=21pt]yeah one of the richest places to live in the world...you should see some of the gaffs there....stunning...i drive along in my beat up people carrier..dixie horn blaring...classy tart me....[/SIZE]

 

[hely]

[SIZE=21pt]might just watch that, we have been there before :thumbsup: [/SIZE]

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[SIZE=21pt]shame i didnt know about the filming of it...would done a streak along the beach....few handstands, leap frog over the bins... :teehee: [/SIZE]

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[SIZE=21pt]mmm, beautiful sight :x [/SIZE]