In desperate need of help, leaving home alone

[Zualsam]

Join our free community today.

Connect with other like-minded dog lovers!

Login or Register

Where to begin? I have an 8 month old puppy/dog, a cross between a fox terrier and a bedlington patterdale, and she absolutely hates being left alone. She originally belonged to my aunt and uncle who had both her and her sister. However, the two sisters did not get along very well and started to get aggressive so one had to go. I had fallen in love with them the moment that I saw them so just had to take one!
I am not working right now so am at home most of the time, but whenever I leave she whines, howls & barks the entire time. Just tonight I had to go out for 2 hours and I used my iPad to record her (audio only), and the longest she went without barking or whining was 21 seconds! It broke my heart.

I have tried reading up on things to do and nothing has worked so far.
She chews and tears things up when alone so she was in her crate. She had:
1. Her blanket
2. A soft toy
3. A hard toy with treats inside.
4. The radio on, on a talking channel.
5. A lavender air freshener in the corner of the room (I read that this helps calm some dogs as well as people).
6. The heating on (but not too high, so she wouldn't have been too hot or cold).
7. A long walk before being left.

When I got home she went crazy jumping up on me and running around the house, you would think she had been in there the whole day. She had not even touched her treat toy which she would normally jump on straight away.

We have also tried playing music deemed to help soothe anxious dogs and have tried leaving clothes near by so that our scent was still around. We have also tried a sound box thing? I can't remember what it is called, but it emits a high pitched sound when she barks to try to discourage it, but nothing seems to help.
We are now at our wits end, we just do not know what to do, there can't always be someone with her.

Can anyone offer any advice? Are we missing something? Anything would be greatly appreciated!
Thank you.

 

[JoanneF]

Separation anxiety is a horribly distressing condition but there are things you can do to help. First back to basics - get her used to you walking out of the room then immediately back in again, preferably when she is occupied with something like a Kong. Try to make no fuss, you don't want to prepare her into thinking "oh no this means they are going out" - the aim is for her to barely register you coming and going - ideally for her to have a 'oh, you're back, I didn't notice you leave' reaction. Very, very gradually build up time. I mean go from two seconds 50 times a day on day one, to three seconds 50 times on day two. If you can leave her for 30 seconds (with multiple repetitions) by the end of a fortnight, that is good. This will be hard work but put the work in now and it will pay off later. If she gets distressed though you have gone too fast, and created anxiety and that is not what you want. Stair gates are also useful to allow her to see you pottering about in another room, but without being glued to your feet.

You can also reward independent behaviour - praise when your dog is not actively engaged with you, which is actually quite hard to remember to do because we sort of don't notice when it happens!

There are other things you can do like picking up keys and putting on outdoor clothes then not actually going out, to desensitise her to the triggers that signal you leaving.

An Adaptil diffuser releases calming hormones in the house and might also help.

Please, please ditch the sound box. She sounds very distressed, there is no way that will help.

If you want to speak to a behaviourist, Emma Judson is one of the UK's experts in SA and she can do online consultations at a very reasonable rate.

thecanineconsultants

 

[JudyN]

This is an excellent book on SA: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Ill-Home-S...=1521580425&sr=1-1&keywords=i'll+be+home+soon

The key really is to commit to never leaving her until she can handle it - if necessary, get a dogsitter in or let a friend look after her - maybe your aunt and uncle could have her back occasionally and keep her in a different room from her sister?

I'm not sure I agree with @JoanneF over the 50 repetitions a day - my dog would just have got anxious because he'd wonder what on earth I was doing. But I'm not an expert, and that's just going on my dog. But I agree with everything else she says - including recommending Emma Judson.

 

[JoanneF]

Maybe 50 is overkill a little! But judge it on your dog, see how she reacts but above all try to return before she gets anxious.

 

[Zualsam]

Separation anxiety is a horribly distressing condition but there are things you can do to help. First back to basics - get her used to you walking out of the room then immediately back in again, preferably when she is occupied with something like a Kong. Try to make no fuss, you don't want to prepare her into thinking "oh no this means they are going out" - the aim is for her to barely register you coming and going - ideally for her to have a 'oh, you're back, I didn't notice you leave' reaction. Very, very gradually build up time. I mean go from two seconds 50 times a day on day one, to three seconds 50 times on day two. If you can leave her for 30 seconds (with multiple repetitions) by the end of a fortnight, that is good. This will be hard work but put the work in now and it will pay off later. If she gets distressed though you have gone too fast, and created anxiety and that is not what you want. Stair gates are also useful to allow her to see you pottering about in another room, but without being glued to your feet.

You can also reward independent behaviour - praise when your dog is not actively engaged with you, which is actually quite hard to remember to do because we sort of don't notice when it happens!

Thank you very much for your advice! However, when we are home there does not seem to be a problem, we can go from room to room without her tagging along, or when she does follow she will quite often leave again and go to another room by herself. She also spends the night on her own without a sound, when we first got her she whimpered a few times through the night but that didn't last long. It just seems to be that whenever she hears the outside door opening and closing she breaks down. Would it work to use what you suggested but going outside for a second or two rather than just leaving the room?

As for the sound box, we only used it two times and we only went as far as the garden, it was clear after a couple of minutes each time that it was not working, so have not used it since. It is now going in the bin.

I think we are going to try an adaptil diffuser and to reward her independent behaviour much more.

But the problem is knowing when she is ready to be left home alone, even for a short time.

 

[doggie1]

My dog developed SA 3 weeks into adopting him. He used to vomit and eat it and sometimes urinate. He's two and a half and we've had him for 5 months now so what we did might not help you. I bought a waterproof bed to start with and took away his blanket while we were out - that was for my sanity! I let him get used to it in the lounge before he used it as a bed. We were very low key when leaving and returning. I started giving him a treat when we left and giving him one when we returned. This helped instantly, now he goes to his bed for the treat when we're leaving and looks for it when we come back, though he is still glad to see us first. As I say, this might not work for you as he is and older dog with baggage.

 

[JoanneF]

Would it work to use what you suggested but going outside for a second or two rather than just leaving the room?

Absolutely. Work on going out then back in before she gets upset - also when you go back in, don't go overboard, you don't want to make going out and in any big deal. And gradually stretch out the time but don't expect it to be a quick fix. Think in terms of several weeks or even months rather than days. The problem most people seem to have is having too high expectations - "if i do this for a fortnight she will be fine for 3 hours" is unrealistic. You will only know when she is ready to be left for moments longer by edging up the time away while recording still calm behaviour.

 

[doggie1]

Another thing I do which I've just realised, I have to go out shopping now and he came running up when he saw me put my shoes on. I just say calmly 'no, you're not coming', I've done that every time for weeks, he just went back to his bed. If he is coming with us, I put his harness on before I put my shoes on. It might not work just now, but something to think of when you're further down the line I also built up the length of time I left him and he's never left for more than 3 hours, usually less than two hours.