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When Showing Becomes An Obsession And Dogs Suffer

Avalonia

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I have been reading the queries of newcomers to showing and thinking there are some very practical pieces of advice every new exhibitor should be given. First and foremost in my book is an encouragement to enjoy showing, but in doing so to put what it is all about in perspective. Put your dog’s interests first before any and everything else, especially your own ego. Your whippets ar, and should be first and foremost, a much loved, well cared for pet. Their exhibition should be ancillary to that and not be the be all and end all of why you purchased or bred that dog in the first place.

Sadly, there are an increasing number of exhibitors for whom these obvious truths seem to be less obvious and I would like to recount the most extreme – and true – example of what can happen when perspective is lost, and showing, and winning, becomes an obsession, and innocent dogs suffer.

I have recently been involved, along with two friends in the USA, with the rescue of two whippets – a nine year old champion male of our breeding, and a younger male from another breeder – from an owner so obsessed with showing, and winning, and becoming recognized as a top handler in the USA (despite the fact her mediocre handling skills, offensive interpersonal skills, and physical limitations made it impossible that she would ever be able to realize this dream) that she lost sight of everything else.

Over a period of more than a decade that I have known this individual her life became more and more obsessed with attending and participating in dog shows, to the exclusion of everything else. The only thing she talked about, the only thing on her mind, was which show was coming next, which judge she thought she was friendly was going to put her up, and when they didn’t why they had their head turned politically by other entrants. This continued ad nauseum.

None of the people who tried to befriend her and did their best to be her friend were able to influence better life choices for her. She refused to accept that she needed to focus on herself, her house, her job, her health and her dogs, and relegate showing to a pleasant but relatively unimportant in the scheme of things, and treat it as an enjoyable, but not life altering, weekend activity.

I regret to say that not only did this obsession with show ring success never materialize (someone, or something, from people to ring politics was always to blame for her lack of success) but in the process she squandered her entire inheritance on buying the trappings of success – the big 8 cylinder show van, designer clothes to wear into the ring, and entries at each and every show within hundreds of miles of where she lived. University educated and intelligent, she also she also quit a succession of good paying jobs when employers refused to give her time off to go to particular shows. Ultimately her employment track record left her all but unemployable.

At the same time she completely neglected to pay her modest mortgage (less than $400 US per month) or repair the house on which that mortgage was held. By the Summer of 2007 her house was in foreclosure and she seized the next best opportunity as she saw it, to start over anew somewhere else.

She quit her job and moved 14 hours drive away from her former residence to share a home with another breeder/wannabe professional handler and terminated all contact with any of her past friends and working colleagaues who dared suggest her choices were not wise for herself, or her dogs. I tried, more than a year ago, to buy back the 9-year old dog she had gotten from us and was rebuffed. She refused to have any future contact with me because I dared to question her choices.

In January 2008 I learned that she and the friend had parted company after she failed to find employment after 6 months of looking and the friend threw her out. She had left her two dogs in the possession of this friend, while she searched for jobs and a place to live. The co-owner of the other whippet was alerted to the fact that the dogs were still in possession of the ‘friend’ and alerted us.

We made the decision that the dogs had in fact been abandoned, in contravention of the co-ownership agreements we had with this individual, and the other co-owner and a very, very good friend drove 14 hours each way to retrieve the two dogs. At a vet appointment after their rescue each dog was found by the vet to be between 8 and 10 pounds underweight and the older dog – our dog – was emaciated and had difficulty standing. In the vet’s assessment this dog might have had less than a week before his debilitation would have spiralled down so far he would not have been able to be saved from his emaciated state. And remember, these dogs were left with someone who, when queried by me as to their condition, attested to how much she loved the breed and who swore the dogs had never been in better condition.

Today both dogs are here in Canada with us and they will live out their lives with us, in comfort, loved, and well fed, socialized and exercised.

As for the ‘owner’ who allowed this to happen to these two dogs, I understand she is now living in a homeless shelter, looking for work, and still not facing up to anything approaching reality.

More horrific is the fact we learned that while her life deteriorated and the two dogs had been abandoned in the ‘care’ of this third party, she was using her communications skills and persuasive abilities to set her sights on another dog that would give her the wins she so desperately seeks. She was, in fact, already well along in the process of negotiating the lease of a champion dog in Europe so that she could show it to its American and Canadian championships. She was actively seeking to borrow money from friends and the daughter she had out of wedlock and put up for adoption 40 years before – allegedly to re-establish herself. But the real plan was to use the money to fly to Europe to pick this dog up later this spring!

This has now been thwarted, but I have no doubt this woman ‘s crazy obsession will continue as long as she is able to maintain that semblance of normalcy to the unsuspecting who do not know and have not seen her deterioration over the past decade. She has turned into a danger to herself, and certainly to any dog she would ever own. And while many of us could see it coming, unfortunately none of us could do anything to prevent it.

All this to close by saying, as an exhibitor, keep everything in focus and perspective, and enjoy the experience, but don't let it take over your life, or use it as the parameters of your self esteem. Life -- for ourselves -- and for our dogs -- is sadly all too short.

Lanny
 
I'm afraid I have a fairly good idea who this probably is. :(

I am sad to hear that things came so unraveled for her. It is good you got your dogs back. My sympathy to everyone involved in this situation.

I really don't know what else to say, other than that I hope she gets her life back together, but I just don't know. It is hard to know what is really going on in someone's life when they seem to have money for entries and nice clothes to show in.

Karen Lee
 
what a fantastic post lanny :thumbsup: i am a newcomer to showing and would never put my want to do well before my dogs happiness she has to enjoy it as much as i do otherwise what is the point in spending money on entry fees and everything else show dog or not she still has the freedom to have a good run as i did decide i wanted a sighthound :huggles:
 
seaspot_run said:
I'm afraid I have a fairly good idea who this probably is. :(
Karen Lee

Hi Karen Lee, I am afraid I have to agree with you.

She has no spouse, no family (she was adopted as an infant by two individuals who were single children themselves), and no one attached to her except the daughter she put up for adoption 40 years ago and never wished to hear from (till she thought she might be able to borrow money from her). I suspect the fact she was an only child raised by only children with no relatives created an environment in which she perceives her life as her always being alone against the rest of the world. And out of that came this awful obsession. I don't know what the resolution of this is going to be, but sadly I fear it will not be good.

Lanny
 
oh my gosh that is such a sad story :(

so glad the dogs are safe and well now :huggles:
 
Wow what a story....................just goes to show what

can happen when things get out of control :(
 
this is very sad, at least it is a happy ending for the 2 dogs
 
What a very sad situation Lanny, so glad the dogs are OK now, but although this is an example of an 'extreme' obsession you are very correct in pointing out the pitfalls that can come about. We must enjoy our hobby, our families, our friends and our life in general and our dogs must always be pets first, showdogs second.
 
This person needs serious councelling and help IMO . :(

Very sad :(
 
that sad history. The reality overcomes the fiction. The obsession is always bad. :(
 
What a terribly sad situation for her and the animals. So awful that she appears to have been thinking that success breed friendships and relationships, which she may crave - tragic :(
 
Avalonia said:
I have been reading the queries of newcomers to showing and thinking there are some very practical pieces of advice every new exhibitor should be given.  First and foremost in my book is an encouragement to enjoy showing, but in doing so to put what it is all about in perspective.  Put your dog’s interests first before any and everything else, especially your own ego.  Your whippets ar, and should be first and foremost, a much loved, well cared for pet.  Their exhibition should be ancillary to that and not be the be all and end all of why you purchased or bred that dog in the first place.
Sadly, there are an increasing number of exhibitors for whom these obvious truths seem to be less obvious and I would like to recount the most extreme – and  true – example of what can happen when perspective is lost, and showing, and winning, becomes an obsession, and innocent dogs suffer.

I have recently been involved, along with two friends in the USA, with the rescue of two whippets – a nine year old champion male of our breeding, and a younger male from another breeder – from an owner so obsessed with showing, and winning, and becoming recognized as a top handler in the USA (despite the fact her mediocre handling skills, offensive interpersonal skills, and physical limitations made it impossible that she would ever be able to realize this dream) that she lost sight of everything else. 

Over a period of more than a decade that I have known this individual her life became more and more obsessed with attending and participating in dog shows, to the exclusion of everything else.  The only thing she talked about, the only thing on her mind, was which show was coming next, which judge she thought she was friendly was going to put her up, and when they didn’t why they had their head turned politically by other entrants.  This continued ad nauseum. 

None of the people who tried to befriend her and did their best to be her friend were able to influence better life choices for her.  She refused to accept that she needed to focus on herself, her house, her job, her health and her dogs, and relegate showing to a pleasant but relatively unimportant in the scheme of things, and treat it as an enjoyable, but not life altering, weekend activity.

I regret to say that not only did this obsession with show ring success never materialize (someone, or something, from people to ring politics was always to blame for her lack of success) but in the process she squandered her entire inheritance on buying the trappings of success – the big 8 cylinder show van, designer clothes to wear into the ring, and entries at each and every show within hundreds of miles of where she lived.  University educated and intelligent, she also she also quit a succession of good paying jobs when employers refused to give her time off to go to particular shows.  Ultimately her employment track record left her all but unemployable. 

At the same time she completely neglected to pay her modest mortgage (less than $400 US per month) or repair the house on which that mortgage was held.  By the Summer of 2007 her house was in foreclosure and she seized the next best opportunity as she saw it, to start over anew somewhere else. 

She quit her job and moved  14 hours drive away from her former residence to share a home with another breeder/wannabe professional handler and terminated all contact with any of her past friends and working colleagaues who dared suggest her choices were not wise for herself, or her dogs.  I tried, more than a year ago, to buy back the 9-year old dog she had gotten from us and was rebuffed.  She refused to have any future contact with me because I dared to question her choices.

In January 2008 I learned that she and the friend had parted company after she failed to find employment after 6 months of looking and the friend threw her out.  She had left her two dogs in the possession of this friend, while she searched for jobs and a place to live.  The co-owner of the other whippet was alerted to the fact that the dogs were still in possession of the ‘friend’ and alerted us. 

We made the decision that the dogs had in fact been abandoned, in contravention of the co-ownership agreements we had with this individual, and the other co-owner and a very, very good friend drove 14 hours each way to retrieve the two dogs.  At a vet appointment after their rescue each dog was found by the vet to be between 8 and 10 pounds underweight and the older dog – our dog – was emaciated and had difficulty standing.  In the vet’s assessment this dog might have had less than a week before his debilitation would have spiralled down so far he would not have been able to be saved from his emaciated state.  And remember, these dogs were left with someone who, when queried by me as to their condition, attested to how much she loved the breed and who swore the dogs had never been in better condition. 

Today both dogs are here in Canada with us and they will live out their lives with us, in comfort, loved, and well fed, socialized and exercised.

As for the ‘owner’ who allowed this to happen to these two dogs, I understand she is now living in a homeless shelter, looking for work, and still not facing up to anything approaching reality. 

More horrific is the fact we learned that while her life deteriorated and the two dogs had been abandoned in the ‘care’ of this third party, she was using her communications skills and persuasive abilities to set her sights on another dog that would give her the wins she so desperately seeks.  She was, in fact, already well along in the process of negotiating the lease of a champion dog in Europe so that she could show it to its American and Canadian championships.  She was actively seeking to borrow money from friends and the daughter she had out of wedlock and put up for adoption 40 years before – allegedly to re-establish herself. But the real plan was to use the money to fly to Europe to pick this dog up later this spring! 

This has now been thwarted, but I have no doubt this woman ‘s crazy obsession will continue as long as she is able to maintain that semblance of normalcy to the unsuspecting who do not know and have not seen her deterioration over the past decade.  She has turned into a danger to herself, and certainly to any dog she would ever own.  And while many of us could see it coming, unfortunately none of us could do anything to prevent it. 

All this to close by saying, as an exhibitor, keep everything in focus and perspective, and enjoy the experience, but don't let it take over your life, or use it as the parameters of your self esteem.  Life -- for ourselves -- and for our dogs -- is sadly all too short.

Lanny


What an awful story!

I think that there are lots of lonely people who throw themselves into showing and that's when it becomes an obsession.

I know that when I got divorced some years ago, I really only had my dogs. It could have been easy to fall into the same situation - had no spare money though so couldn't afford to enter or travel to a show. Thank god I didn't get into debt over it.

Showing is just a hobby at the end of the day - it's just that judge's opinion on that particular day and in the great scheme of things (IMHO) it's not worth getting het up about!

Enjoy life, enjoy your whippets and be happy! :thumbsup:
 
Such a sad posting :(

I have come across obsessive compulsive people myself during my years of showing where they will do ANYTHING for a win - it is just so sad that their lives boil down with such extremeties, and sadly here, the dogs welfare was not taken into consideration while the downward spiral was in action. I feel for the dogs & I also feel for the person, as really this type of obsessive compulsion is a mental health issue

Great to hear the dogs are now safe & well cared for - such a sad situation.
 
shenace said:
Such a sad posting :(  
I have come across obsessive compulsive people myself during my years of showing where they will do ANYTHING for a win - it is just so sad that their lives boil down with such extremeties, and sadly here, the dogs welfare was not taken into consideration while the downward spiral was in action.  I feel for the dogs & I also feel for the person, as really this type of obsessive compulsion is a mental health issue

Great to hear the dogs are now safe & well cared for - such a sad situation.

I think I would find some charity in my heart -- and not the cold disgust and contempt that I have right now -- had this woman actually demonstrated that she cared for the dogs above all else. But she did not. Her selfish objectives did not include these two dogs whom she abandoned with someone who threw her out of their home after she mooched off them for approximately six months. The fact she cavalierly assumed those dogs would still fare well when she left the dogs with someone who threw HER out of their house -- and the fact she has since then been actively trying to find another dog and the money to get and show that new dog -- suggests she knew full well that she was bidding adios to the two dogs she left behind.

I am not even sure on a superficial level she might have given some thought to their well being.

Ask yourself, if you were up against the wall financially would not first think of properly sheltering, feeding and caring for your beloved pets before all else? It is certainly hard to imagine that any form of caring could have been involved in the decision, effectively, to abandon those two dogs, and let someone else pick up the pieces -- or not, whilst this woman set off merrily to try to find another dog to show and feed her obsession.

There are no nice words in my vocabulary for this 'person'.

The dogs, I must tell you, are in wonderful spirits. The love they back for simply being fed, cared for, petted, played with hugged, and loved and cherished, is wonderfully unconditional and real -- as is our commitment to both of them, and their future with us.

Lanny
 
Avalonia said:
shenace said:
Such a sad posting :(   
I have come across obsessive compulsive people myself during my years of showing where they will do ANYTHING for a win - it is just so sad that their lives boil down with such extremeties, and sadly here, the dogs welfare was not taken into consideration while the downward spiral was in action.  I feel for the dogs & I also feel for the person, as really this type of obsessive compulsion is a mental health issue

Great to hear the dogs are now safe & well cared for - such a sad situation.

I think I would find some charity in my heart -- and not the cold disgust and contempt that I have right now -- had this woman actually demonstrated that she cared for the dogs above all else. But she did not. Her selfish objectives did not include these two dogs whom she abandoned with someone who threw her out of their home after she mooched off them for approximately six months. The fact she cavalierly assumed those dogs would still fare well when she left the dogs with someone who threw HER out of their house -- and the fact she has since then been actively trying to find another dog and the money to get and show that new dog -- suggests she knew full well that she was bidding adios to the two dogs she left behind.

I am not even sure on a superficial level she might have given some thought to their well being.

Ask yourself, if you were up against the wall financially would not first think of properly sheltering, feeding and caring for your beloved pets before all else? It is certainly hard to imagine that any form of caring could have been involved in the decision, effectively, to abandon those two dogs, and let someone else pick up the pieces -- or not, whilst this woman set off merrily to try to find another dog to show and feed her obsession.

There are no nice words in my vocabulary for this 'person'.

The dogs, I must tell you, are in wonderful spirits. The love they back for simply being fed, cared for, petted, played with hugged, and loved and cherished, is wonderfully unconditional and real -- as is our commitment to both of them, and their future with us.

Lanny


This sounds like one hell of an obsessive SELFISH person, the only good thing about this story is that the two whippets are safe now with you and thank christ for that!!!
 
Sad case :( But so true. I have seen this in every form of competition. Any thing from a camera club,football, dogs, cats etc etc, there is always a group that dont know when to stop. (w00t)

But it can go to other kinds of extrems. I have seen over the years several people/ famillies, that show dogs. lots of them. Entering shows with 10 to 20 entries & several breeds. The mums & dads running from ring to ring with grubby faced kids & long coated dogs that have not seen a comb/brush in weeks.

Too many dogs to know what to do with & yet one of them at a show will fall into a class by thenselves & get a ribon..............is it all worth it?? To them yes. However they dont last long, & new hobby comes up & they are never seen again. But a new car load takes their place & it starts all over again.

Personally I find this kind of competion hard to put up with. I go to a show with a young one to win my class, maybe CC & BOB. Anything afterthat is icing on the cake. By the time your dog is in Open it should be competitive to win Class & CC on a semi regular basis. If the dog is not up to standard I dont show. I only show what I think is good quallity. That makes it easy to only show 1 or 2 at a time.
 
Cartman said:
Personally I find this kind of competion hard to put up with. I go to a show with a young one to win my class, maybe CC & BOB. Anything afterthat is icing on the cake. By the time your dog is in Open it should be competitive to win Class & CC on a semi regular basis. If the dog is not up to standard I dont show. I only show what I think is good quallity. That makes it easy to only show 1 or 2 at a time.
We do much as you do. We don't show a dog until it is ready to go into the ring which more often than not is long after it is out of the puppy classes and then we show it when we are confident it is mentally and physically ready to be shown. We are delighted as the dog picks up the points towards a championship -- usually they do this very quickly because we wait to show them at their absolute prime. We show any promising dog to the championship title andthat basically is it.

We don't campaign them though we have on occasion been approached in recent years to lease one or another of our dogs to someone who wanted to do it and we have always said no. We did campaign a couple of dogs in the distant past and had the top greyhound and the top whippet in the country on separate occasions -- but when we realized we were doing this far more for our own egos than anything else we decided to put the dogs into occasional specialty shows but nothing more and let them live out their lives as dogs.

I defy anyone to tell me who was the top whippet in their country three, four or five years back because by and large what won today is only remembered for as long as it is winning and then people's minds move on to remember the next hot thing. It is a neverending succession of new dogs and hot new breeds. There is a huge amount of money spent campaigning dogs in the US and Canada, and I think in Oz too and a large part of me thinks it is a ridiculous amount of money to spend on something so transitory when there are so many purposeful things people could do with the money to make life better for dogs or people less fortunate. That star in the ring is like the moth illuminated in the light of a fire -- clear and distinct and bright and captivating, and then suddenly it moves beyond the safe point -- it gets a bit too old, or a bit too shopworn being shopped to the same judges who have put it up over and over and they finally put something else up, or better young stuff comes along -- and it is quickly over.

Lanny
 
I don't know if it would be harder to remember in countries where there is a bigger turn over and more champions than the UK, don't forget a Uk title is the hardest to achieve of all. I do remember Lanny from just starting in the breed seeing, the fabulous Ch Laguna Ravensdowne Astri, and never dreaming at that time she would be mated to one of my dogd and I would end up with one of her Champion sons, through the years since I have admired the top winners and remembered them all.
 
patsy said:
I don't know if it would be harder to remember in countries where there is a bigger turn over and more champions than the UK, don't forget a Uk title is the hardest to achieve of all. I do remember Lanny from just starting in the breed seeing, the fabulous Ch Laguna Ravensdowne Astri, and never dreaming at that time she would be mated to one of my dogd and I would end up with one of her Champion sons, through the years since I have admired the top winners and remembered them all.
I do agree with you that it is far easier to remember the champions and the winners when you live in a country that only offers 37/38 CCs a year and you need three of them to be made up. If I lived in the UK I would have little doubt I would be able to remember who won what where and who did all the winning over the years, because, in fact, even at this distance, as a close follower of the UK show scene, I can pretty well remember who won how many CCs and in what years!

But here in North America there are probably thousands of shows each year in the USA and certainly in the many hundreds here in Canada where points for all breeds are on offer. With all those show opportunities our champions are, of course, much easier to make up, and a lot of not so good dogs end up being champions. I think that is perhaps why my son Mick and I have revelled in the success of dogs we bred that we have been exported to Europe where they have done very well indeed.

For dogs being campaigned a BOB is almost scorned I hate to say and most BOB ribbon winners return the ribbon to a pot for recycling by the hosting club. A BOB ribbon is simply the first step on the show ladder as group placements, group wins and BIS wins tabulating all the dogs defeated at what may be a hundred or more shows a dog is exhibited at during a single year of campaigning are the vital ingredients needed to secure the points to propel a dog to top of the heap status.

I too have those 'who would ever have thought' moments you had with Astri.

On my first trip to Crufts 1977 I accompanied my mother, who went to see collies, and in the process I saw and fell in love with whippets. And the dog who did it for me was Eng.Ch. Black Knight of Carmodian who won the breed that year. When I showed the photo I snapped of Black Knight winning the breed to my son Mick who was then not quite 9 he announced that when he grew up he was going to own whippets. At 14 he got his first whippet and 25 years later we are surrounded by them. And to round the circle, we can trace virtually every one of our dogs back to Black Knight, something that positively thrills me.

My other goosebump moment came the first time I saw the youngster who became Eng.Ch. Nevedith Justa Jesta running through the grass at the paddock at Nevedith. He simply took my breath away. I photographed he and his sister Jenie that day and later sent the photos on to the Newtons. You probably know those photos well since they are in your book! Seeing Jesta move I knew we simply had to base our breeding program on him, and out of that came our acquisition of Ch. Nevedith Local Lancer -- who I still think of as one of the greatest whippet dogs ever to leave England, regretably before he was ever used at stud there. And later on we had the extreme good fortune to be able to bring a wonderful bitch to Canada, in whelp to Jesta. Today I see smatterings of Black Knight in the dark brindle dogs we continue to fancy, and I see Jesta, and Jesta movement everywhere in the pups descended from him via Lancer and Wotta Wispa.

Dogs like those dogs you remember for a lifetime, not because they were campaigned, but simply because they were so awesomely excellent in every respect that you knew instantly you were in the presence of greatness when you were with them.

Lanny
 

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