Working from 9 to 5 and raising puppy

[BiancaD]

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Hello everyone
I have a few concerns regarding our new puppy...to keep it short: my husband and I adopted a 12 week old French Bulldog puppy (male). We live in an apartment, with a closed balcony. Since the dog gets extremely nervous and loud and anxious when he is in a room by himself (once cried and whined for 25 minutes), we decided to baby proof the kitchen and the little closed balcony and close every other door in the house. Since then, he`s been doing much better with his separation anxiety and never destroyed anything around the house (although he chews like crazy). Here are the "problems" though:
-he spends 8+ hours alone (in the last days I`ve been going home in my lunch break but this is only a temporary solution since I can`t do it every day)
-he follows me (but not my husband) EVERYWHERE, I can`t even shower without him because he will whine and wake up the entire building
-he can`t be locked in his crate even for a minute because all hell breaks loose even though I`ve been trying every possible method to make the crate his special place and a great experience, never using it to punish or scold him
So...can someone please give me some advice on how to better help him overcome this need to be with/around/after us every minute?
Thank you a lot!

 

[JudyN]

I'm sorry to sound harsh, but 8 hours is FAR too long to leave a puppy alone for and, apart from a small minority of dogs who seem to manage OK, even too long for an adult dog. A reputable rescue would not let you have a pup that is going to be left that long. So if you want to keep him, you're going to need to find a dog sitter/walker, dog daycare or something similar.

How is his toileting going, and does he get regular walks?

If you think he is 'OK' with being left, I would get a video recording of what he does all day - you might find he's clearly anxious/distressed. At the very least, he might be bored silly... or he could be completely shut down.

Compared to this, I don't think him following you everywhere is such a problem - for now you can simply let him follow you, including to the shower. But you can work VERY GRADUALLY on being apart, e.g. when he's chewing on something lovely on his bed, walk out the room, turn round and come straight back in. You might even start with simply standing up and sitting down again (I work from home and my dog at first would get anxious if he just heard me put my pen down). The idea is that you work in his comfort zone and that when you come back to him, he's not really noticed that you've gone.

 

[JoanneF]

I'm sorry but I think 8 hours is too long to leave a puppy. For housetraining alone, you need someone to be on hand to let him out regularly.

Also if all hell breaks loose in his crate, it isn't the happy place you want it to be.

If he is alone for 8 hours at a time, I'm not surprised he is clingy when you are there. I also wouldn't leave a puppy to cry for 25 minutes - he has just been separated from mum and littermates so he will be anxious. There is a huge difference between waiting for a noisy pup to be quiet before giving attention; and comforting a distressed pup. If he is that upset, leaving him to cry it out won't help - he might stop crying, but only because it doesn't help, not because he realises that everything is ok.

So - can you get a puppy sitter or doggy day care for him?

If you want to persevere with the crate, the following guide was written by Emma Judson who is a behaviourist specialising in separation anxiety. But don't cut corners.

Crate Training - Step By Step Guide to A Distress Free, Force Free Crate Trained Dog or Pup by Emma Judson

And for leaving him for a few minutes to help with separation anxiety, get him used to you walking out of the room then immediately back in again, preferably when he is occupied with something like a Kong. Try to make no fuss, you don't want to prepare him into thinking "oh no this means they are going out" - the aim is for him to barely register you coming and going - ideally for him to have a 'oh, you're back, I didn't notice you leave' reaction. Very, very gradually build up time. This will be hard work but put the work in now and it will pay off later. If he gets distressed though you have gone too fast, and created anxiety and that is not what you want. Stair gates are also useful to allow him to see you pottering about in another room, but without being glued to your feet.

You can also reward independent behaviour - praise when your dog is not actively engaged with you, which is actually quite hard to remember to do because we sort of don't notice when it happens.

There are other things you can do like picking up keys and putting on outdoor clothes then not actually going out, to desensitise him to the triggers that signal you leaving.

An Adaptil diffuser releases calming hormones in the house and might also help.

 

[JoanneF]

Cross-posted again @JudyN!

 

[Kara 1]

Can only agree with above posts ...
But i cant understand why people who work 8 hrs a day would get a puppy ....

 

[BiancaD]

Thank you all for the replies and the good advice!
I totally agree that it might seem too much for a puppy, however we don`t have the option to not work. Also, we cannot afford a dog sitter and the neighbours are far from wanting to get involved, let alone help us out when we`re gone.
Of course I want to make sure that the pup gets the best life he can have with us, but it`s just not an option to spend more time at home.
Also, owning my own dog is a long time dream for me and I`m doing my best.
I hope he will get more comfortable with time because giving him up to another family would break my heart :-(

 

[Mad Murphy]

Can I ask.. had you planned this or is this pup the result of some accident/ private rescue. I ask because you dont sound as if you had anything planned beforehand.
As others have said 8 hours is just too long. If you insist on leaving him like this there is a chance one of your neighbours will call animal services.
So get some help as suggested and maybe enrole in puppy classes to help your pup get used to being around other people and situations and to give you more ideas on coping with your pup.

Just seen your post ....the cold fact is if you cant afford a sitter or walker then in reality you cant afford your pup because leaving him for eight hours is just not an option.

 

[JudyN]

I hope he will get more comfortable with time because giving him up to another family would break my heart :-(

It might be in his best interests though. Many people delay having dogs until they are retired because they know their lifestyle before then wouldn't be right for a dog.

 

[BiancaD]

Can I ask.. had you planned this or is this pup the result of some accident/ private rescue. I ask because you dont sound as if you had anything planned beforehand.
As others have said 8 hours is just too long. If you insist on leaving him like this there is a chance one of your neighbours will call animal services.
So get some help as suggested and maybe enrole in puppy classes to help your pup get used to being around other people and situations and to give you more ideas on coping with your pup.

Yes, it has been a planned decision. We got him from a breeder who told us he gave his brothers to other people who had full time jobs and were living (some of them) in apartment buildings. Again, we are trying to provide all the affection and attention we can, when at home. We are also training him and once he is done with the vaccines we will make sure he gets 2 long walks every day.

 

[Mad Murphy]

Yes, it has been a planned decision. We got him from a breeder who told us he gave his brothers to other people who had full time jobs and were living (some of them) in apartment buildings. Again, we are trying to provide all the affection and attention we can, when at home. We are also training him and once he is done with the vaccines we will make sure he gets 2 long walks every day.

You cant give a young pup long walks plus 2 long walks wont be enough for his toileting needs. The breeder would tell you what you wanted to hear because they wanted your $$$ .
Sorry but this sounds like a trainwreck

 

[BiancaD]

It might be in his best interests though. Many people delay having dogs until they are retired because they know their lifestyle before then wouldn't be right for a dog.

I see your point

 

[JoanneF]

giving him up to another family would break my heart

Sorry to be harsh but it's not all about you. It's about what's best for him. Yes, people have dogs and work but they put provision in place for the dog's needs to be met while they are at work. If you cannot do that, perhaps a different sort of pet would have suited your lifestyle better.

With winter coming up, you realise don't you that you are going to need to walk him for about 30 minutes morning and evening, building up to an hour morning and evening, in the dark and whatever the weather?

 

[Teddy560]

Have you got a friend/relative who could come in the middle of the day and spend time with him and let him out? Maybe someone has a trustworthy teen at college or something that could come and do it for cheaper than a walker? Or you could ask about for prices, a dog walker/sitter might be cheaper than you thought? There's also a website called borrow my doggy where people borrow your dog to walk etc.

 

[excuseme]

I totally agree with the above posts!
If you are working for 8 hours daily, how much more time is for travelling to and from work??
Much too long to leave a puppy or even an adult, and certainly not fair, Poor puppy!

 

[BiancaD]

Have you got a friend/relative who could come in the middle of the day and spend time with him and let him out? Maybe someone has a trustworthy teen at college or something that could come and do it for cheaper than a walker? Or you could ask about for prices, a dog walker/sitter might be cheaper than you thought? There's also a website called borrow my doggy where people borrow your dog to walk etc.

Thank you for the suggestion, however there is no one. My father is the only one in town and he is old, cannot come every day to our home and take care of a dog. Also, every other friend we have is also working full time. So, unfortunately, no one can walk the pup...

 

[Caro Perry]

Completely agree with all the above posts. Please find a home for him where he can have company during the day. A life of solitary confinement is not fair on the poor puppy and you'll probably end up with behavioural problems that mean that his chances of finding a new home become very small.

 

[Kara 1]

These threads keep me awake at night thinking of a puppy left alone for 8hrs + daily is cruel ....be selfless and rehome him to someone who can look after him and be there with him ...the breeder is just about making money ..... they dont adopt out puppies they Sell them for money ,,,,,

 

[Josie]

I to agree with the above posts. My boy is 10 and I won’t leave him for more than 4 hours at a time. Even then I am itching to return home (this is after he’s had a nice walk and is left with a kong)

You may not have lots of options regarding money but could you afford someone to just come in and play with him? This most likely wouldn’t be as expensive as a paid walk.

Or

Have you tried ‘Borrow my doggy’ they are on our directory. However, seeing as he is only a puppy this may not be the best option.

I would also consider rehoming him personally if you cannot arrange the above.

I’m sorry you’ve had a grilling on the forum but 8 hours is such a long time to be alone :-(

 

[arealhuman]

I’m sorry you’ve had a grilling on the forum

This. Bare in mind that people are concerned with the welfare of your puppy. I hope you can find a solution so that he has company and you can keep him. Investigate all possibilities - friends, neighbours, kids of friends/neighbours, even an advert in a local shop window - if you can't pay for the service, is there something else you could offer? A meal at your home, perhaps? I don't know what you do for a job, but perhaps you could offer you skills in that area? If your father could manage an odd visit or two, that's a start.

Let us know how you get on, I'm sure our friends here will relax a bit once we know you're on the case

 

[merlina]

Please try to do better than this for your puppy- he is not a toy to be left alone when you can't be there but a living creature that deserves a better life than this. My heart breaks thinking about him. Do not take advice from a breeder who bred him- he is just selling a commodity.