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Fao Sarahloveland

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A man went to his local gym to ask about yoga classes for beginners.

The instructor asked, "How flexible are you?"

"Well," replied the man, "I can't do Wednesdays…"
 
One friday afternoon two women are talking about nothing in particular when one of them spots the other’s husband and says:

“Oh look Gloria! He’s bought you a lovely bunch of flowers.” Gloria turns to look and replies:

“Oh bloody hell, that’s me on my back with my legs open all weekend.”

Her friend looks surprised and asks: “You don’t have a vase, then?” (w00t)
 
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow into a breathalyser.

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube."

"Ok, we'll just get a urine sample down at the station."

"Can't do that either officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a diabetic. I could get low blood sugar if I pee in a cup."

"Alright, we could get a blood sample."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a haemophiliac. If I give blood I could die."

"Fine, then just walk this white line."

"Can't do that either, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm drunk."
 
[SIZE=21pt]where ya'll gone??? surely my jokes aren't that bad :wacko: :wacko: [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=21pt]little murph at 8 weeks old[/SIZE] :wub:

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[SIZE=21pt]getting broody ladies[/SIZE]
 
:wub: [SIZE=21pt]blue at 8 weeks[/SIZE]

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[SIZE=21pt]lost all the girls pups pics when computer went tits up once :( [/SIZE]
 
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[SIZE=21pt]right had enough of this fascinating conversation with you all :unsure: :unsure: :unsure: going now............[/SIZE]
 
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[SIZE=21pt]hi pat, i was busy working this morning, this afternoon i have been out with jayne (haycroft) peggy and bow :) [/SIZE]

the girls had a good run, and got filthy in the mud, and then back to jaynes for cofee and a gossip :thumbsup:

[SIZE=14pt]hope you are well :huggles: [/SIZE]
 
[SIZE=21pt]think trac as gone for a nap now,she must need to rest her brain with all the time she spends on here :- " [/SIZE]
 
Hi Trish you okay? :))

You have had a packed day then Hely. Bet the dogs love all meeting up its nice that they all get on. Yes I am well thank you. :)

Take more than a nap to sort Trac's brain out :- "
 
[SIZE=14pt]Hi All[/SIZE]

Just got back from a walk with the girls - Jinny's first one since her op last week :)

Still haven't managed to get her bandage off - she goes spare when she sees the scissors (w00t)

Got to try again when hubby gets home :thumbsup:

 

Is Trac missing??? Maybe they've taken her back to the home :- "
 
[SIZE=21pt]no i am not missing im here and trish and pat i have seen what you wrote[/SIZE] :angry: [SIZE=21pt]afternoon nicky[/SIZE] :huggles:
 
Hi glad Jinny is loads better now. :thumbsup:

Think Trac has just come in they must have let her out early!!!!!!! (w00t)
 
BlueNoise said:
Hi glad Jinny is loads better now. :thumbsup: Think Trac has just come in they must have let her out early!!!!!!! (w00t)

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[SIZE=21pt]afternoon to you to Pat[/SIZE] :angry:
 
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