Grief of losing dog unbearable

[JoanneF]

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It's clear you loved him deeply, and that's why it hurts so much. There is no right or wrong way to mourn, do what feels right for you.

 

[Murphy11]

It's clear you loved him deeply, and that's why it hurts so much. There is no right or wrong way to mourn, do what feels right for you.

Thank you. So painful

 

[BEF]

I understand your pain, when I lost my greyhound Lily I couldn't function properly for weeks, I heard her and felt her as if she was still in the house only to remember that she was gone. The important thing to remember is that he had a beautiful life with you and that you where the best of friends.
In time you will remember the good times and be able to laugh again.

 

[Mayblossom]

It’s good to let it all out however painful it feels to talk about him, you haven’t let him down at all , you eased his pain and did the kindest thing we can do to help them be free. It’s so hard seeing their beds, bowls around as it starts you off again, I had to move Molly's things as it was too painful to see them there, it was easier .Keep talking on here and share your feelings, we’ll always listen as most of us have been through it, xxx

 

[JudyN]

I'm so sorry, @Mayblossom xxx

@Murphy11, you ramble away all you like. It doesn't even matter if it makes sense to you or to anyone else, if you're repeating yourself or whatever. Just the process of writing, writing, writing can help as much as any replies you can get xxx

 

[Josie]

Sorry to hear your sad news @Mayblossom :-(
They leave such a hole in our lives - I will never understand people who don’t like dogs or mistreat them.

 

[Flobo]

Loving and having dogs or any animals in our lives is the best thing ever and losing them is the worst. We all feel this pain, guilt and question our decisions but over time it does get easier. My Jakes ashes are on the shelf next to my last old boys ashes, with happy photos, and when I look in passing now I smile, not well up, mostly.. I couldn't bare to scatter their ashes as they were both home boys so that's where they stay. @Murphy11 you say you got a scatter pouch, but you could buy a nice wooden box to keep his ashes in or something else relevant to you maybe.. Thinking of and sending hugs to all who have suffered losses recently. We lost one of our ferrets Winnie to lymphoma 3 weeks ago, was devastated, my poor Sid is lost without her, he even moved their blanket and all his favourite toys that he had stashed in a drawer they used to share and now won't use it....

 

[Murphy11]

Thank you everyone. I am re-reading everyones messages over and over to help things sink in. I'm so sorry for all your losses and pain.

I called the pet bereavement line today and it was really helpful for someone to repeat the things everyone else is saying. I think I'll use their email support service too as you get to speak to same person.

I can't believe Murphy is in a scatter tube. I'm thinking I might have to keep him and not scatter now. I'll not make any quick decisions. X

 

[JoanneF]

I also have the ashes of my old boy. And my dad for that matter - sorry if that's TMI. I have always struggled with the idea of scattering, I get upset at the idea of them not being somewhere, in a place that I can identify or relate to. I could cope with burying them somewhere but I haven't done that. I have also toyed with the idea of having the ashes made into a keepsake - there are companies that create gemstones from ashes and others that make other pieces of jewellery. I say these things to underline that everyone is different and whatever you choose to do - including choosing to do nothing - is the right thing for you.

 

[Murphy11]

I also have the ashes of my old boy. And my dad for that matter - sorry if that's TMI. I have always struggled with the idea of scattering, I get upset at the idea of them not being somewhere, in a place that I can identify or relate to. I could cope with burying them somewhere but I haven't done that. I have also toyed with the idea of having the ashes made into a keepsake - there are companies that create gemstones from ashes and others that make other pieces of jewellery. I say these things to underline that everyone is different and whatever you choose to do - including choosing to do nothing - is the right thing for you.

Do you think now I've put them in a scatter box it's too late to transfer them. I could not do it myself. Would be too traumatic

 

[JoanneF]

Do you think now I've put them in a scatter box it's too late to transfer them. I could not do it myself. Would be too traumatic

I honestly don't know what a scatter box is like but you probably have options. I am sure someone can transfer them for you or alternatively could you have a beautiful box made and put the scatter box into it?

 

[Murphy11]

Thank you. I'll do.some research online

 

[Ari_RR]

We have an urn, similar to this:
https://www.chewy.com/best-friend-services-ottillie-paws/dp/150385

No scattering for us. There was no place in the world he would rather be, other than where his family was.

 

[Murphy11]

We have an urn, similar to this:
https://www.chewy.com/best-friend-services-ottillie-paws/dp/150385

No scattering for us. There was no place in the world he would rather be, other than where his family was.

Thank you. I'll check it out x

 

[Whippylove]

I'm really sorry to hear this I understand how you feel I lost my best friend 2years ago and it was the hardest decision I've made. I also lost suzie who I had to pts it's the worst part off having our pets. You did what was right, I also carried guilt for both my dog's but we cant be selfish.
I have both off mine ashes in urns in my home Zak will be put with me when I go, suzie with my husband.
Time is a healer you'll get there slowly x
Sending you hugs xx

 

[JudyN]

I would have thought that your vet would be quite happy to transfer Murphy's ashes to a different container if you wanted, @Murphy11.

I haven't decided what to do when Jasper comes to the end of his life. I'm as about as spiritial as a housebrick and don't think that, ultimately, it matters or makes a difference. I might go for the cheapest option and make a donation to a dog charity, or maybe sponsor a rescue dog long term. If I feel the need to have some of 'him' maybe I'll snip some of his hair to save. But we're all so very different and what feels right for one person would be totally wrong for someone else.

 

[Biker John]

AS JudyN, I to am non spiritual, what happens to the body after a death does nor worry me, what made that individual has gone. However I do have every collar and tag of every dog we have ever had, after all the dog has worn it 24 hrs a day for all its life with us.

 

[merlina]

So very sorry that you have lost such a wonderful dog. It is the worst pain. Take care of yourself as your missing soul-mate would wish you to.

 

[Murphy11]

Thanks everyone. Still reading and re-reading replies. This morning I was feeling I had done the right thing, but then this afternoon I reverted back to questioning everything.

The image I cant get out my head (and i filmed it with my phone) was of him burying his bone in his bed about hour before vet turned up to euthanize him. I feel he wasnt dying if he could do that. However, he was severely anemic and not responding to meds, had IBD and PLE and suspected vasculitis. I had stopped his meds on the day and so perhaps with no meds and all his forbidden treats he had had a burst of energy. I'm trying to be logical and say ti myself that tomorrow he would have had a very bad day and would suffer. Also may be he wasnt in dying phase as I've read so much about dying signs and he still ate meat, chewed bone, wasnt incontinent and was drinking water.

I know he was ill and sad and couldn't get comfortable and didnt/couldn't go on walks and had to be carried the day before to go any distance. Also his test results were dire! But now I'm scaring myself that I got confused and misread signs. Although for 20 months I'd been taking care of all his medical needs and had several vets say nothing more could be done so I felt I couldn't just keep him going for me and he was not good on so many meds and supplements.....atopica, prednisone, b12, antibiotics, some paste to stop his diorreah, trental, omeprazole, cosmofer injections, ferrous sulphate, vitamin c, vsl#3.

Sorry I'm repeating myself probably. I just cant believe my boy has gone. What happened to my brain? Why did I give up on him after fighting so hard to keep him going?

I did feel over the weekend that he might not make it until the appointment for euthanasia as he seemed so poorly then but now my mind is saying he wasnt that poorly just a bad day!!! So confused.

 

[Murphy11]

Also to make an appointment for something so dreadful seems to also be getting to me.