Im Down

[midlanderkeith]

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Hi, Ruthy and myself spent some considerable time up the hospital yesterday With Martin, her brother, absolutely horrendous and gut wrenching to have sat at his bedside, and looked upon a man who i once remembered as a fit and healthy person, a friend with just weeks to live, for the very first time, i watched one of my family break down and cry in front of me, cos he's frightened of dying, its knocked hell out of me n Ruthy, so we told him, you go ahead and cry, no shame there, and then i had to leave the ward for a while, whilst i had a damn good cry, no shame there you may be thinking to yourselves, but oh yes there is, cos i was upset for myself in the fact that Martins illness, has opened many memmories of much loved family members, gone with the same disease, am i a selfish swine, im a f****r for punnishing myself i can tell you, i said my goodbyes to him yesterday, how awful is that, but i just cannot face him anymore, he has a lump on his neck the size of a tenniss ball, he can hardly swallow, the times ive sat at family members beds and watched em die, the tales i could tell, why am i putting this on k9, im f****d if i no, who gives a f**** perhaps my closest friends on here may,

 

[posh totty]

a terrible thing to be going through and your friends are here for you keith :huggles: , thats why you put it on , a very mixed bunch here on k9 but a better mixed bunch as friends you couldnt ask for more, each and every one is sharing a little piece of you and ruths pain :huggles:

thinking of you and ruth :huggles:

 

[hely]

oh keithy im so sorry

your such a lovely man, and everyone here thinks the world of you, you do what you have to do keithy, be sad, be angry, be whatever you have to be..........we are all here for you :huggles:

keithy & ruth :huggles: :huggles: :huggles:

 

[Painted Lady]

oh keith...thinking of you and ruth.

 

[jinx and rubys mum]

Thinking of you at this difficult time

You can only do as you feel is right at the time

Be strong for Ruth and take comfort in being loved and giving love

Enjoy your life and live each day as if its your last

Make the most of your health and protect it

Most of all keep letting your feelings out as bottling them up is not good for you.

 

[k4tie-d]

so sorry

cant imagine what you must be going through

my gran always says that when someone is dieing over a period of time you are greving for them before they actually are gone so the pain of it is longer and harder.

i think anyone in this position would be crying for there loved ones. i would!!

its not selfish and you shouldnt feel link that.

thinking of you and ruth

 

[controversial]

keith to me youve done the right thing .if you hadnt said your goodbyes it would have niggled at you forever.you did more than what of other men couldnt do.be strong and live life to the full. :luck:

 

[June Jonigk]

Keith, you know you have friends here - so go ahead, and write whatever you like. People here understand, and it can help to write down what you're feeling and share it with others - K9 is such a fantastic community :thumbsup:

Stick around here, and keep talking to us :huggles: :huggles: :huggles:

 

[nicky12]

keith i think ya need a big one of these my friend

 

[lillybet]

Oh Keith so sorry :huggles:

We are all here for you Hun :huggles:

Lillibet

 

[trac]

Keith so sorry,you did the right thing saying goodbye,not a easy thing to do and sometimes we are not given the chance to tell our loved ones goodbye you are not selfish at all took a lot of strength to do that :huggles: , keith we are all here for you :huggles:

for you & ruth

 

[milly]

Sorry to hear this Keith

 

[jinnyfizz]

Keith, if you couldn't pour out your troubles to your friends then the world would be a poorer place

We're all here for you and I, for one, don't mind listening at all and if I can do anything to help brighten your days at the moment then don't you hesitate to ask

Keep talking about it, buddy, because that is how you will stay strong for Ruth and rest of the family :huggles:

Jane xx

 

[Shadow Dancer]

When I must leave you for a while

Please do not grieve and shed wild tears

And hug your sorrow to you through the years

But start out bravely with a gallant smile

And for my sake and in my name

Live on and do all the things the same

Feed not your loneliness on empty days

But fill each working hour in useful ways

Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer

And I in turn will comfort you and hold you near

And never, never be afraid to die

For I am waiting for you in the sky

Author Unknown

 

[Trish]

thinking of you keith at this difficult time :huggles:

its never easy lad but keep strong :huggles:

always here for you :huggles:

 

[meddling]

Aw Keith you and your family are in our thoughts - take care - lots of :huggles: :huggles: :huggles:

 

[littlenell]

Im so sorry, my thoughts are with you both. :huggles: I found this little poem and Im sure it goes for all of us on here and that if Jill and Sally could speak they would tell you.......

I'll Be Here

I cannot ease your aching heart,

Nor take your pain away;

But let me stay and take your hand

And walk with you today.

I'll listen when you need to talk,

I'll wipe away your tears;

I'll share your worries when they come,

I'll help you face your fears.

I'm here and I will stand by you,

On each hill you have to climb;

So take my hand, let's face the world...

And live just one day at a time.

You're not alone, for I'm still here,

I'll go that extra mile;

And when your grief is easier,

I'll help you learn to smile!

- Author Unknown

 

[affieluver]

keith selfish is one thing you are definately NOT ! he is one very lucky man to have you both thinking of you both at this very hard time lots of love from us all here xx

 

[Nicola]

Keith, I don't think you should feel ashamed of how you feel. It sounds like you've had to face this more times than most, so who can blame you for feeling the way you do. Be strong for your wife and be there for her but resign yourself to what is going to happen to your brother-in-law (and limit your visits if this is how you are going to cope). Look ahead to the nice things you have planned late this year. Life must go on. There's only so much grief anyone can deal with.

Hope this doesn't sound too patronizing....and I hope you start to feel in better spirits soon.

 

[wigglesworth]

How rotten (not you of course, the events in general )

Stay strong Keith. You will be happy again - you've got an enriching life with many things to be thankful for - and your brother in law will go to a better place with no pain and illness.

:huggles: