Fighting With The Neighbour

[k4tie-d]

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my downstairs neighbour and I were good friends, kids go to the same nursery have seen each other nearly everyday for the past 3.5years and we take the kids places, we bought the fish tanks together and we have never really argued.

problem, we share the back garden, not fully share though there is a drying green which is shared but then the rest is mine.

last week she mentiond that she had spoke to a friend who had happened to mention that in the summer their garden started to smell from the 2 greyhounds which they let pee in it.

i said that was silly as my dogs, go down the road for their morning pee/poop then they get taken out for a propper run at like 10am and at 6 the are taken out again for a run and a pee/poop down the road at night.

so their is the timeslot between 11.30 and 6 when its just me and the kids most days i try to get them out, so they are not peeing in the garden but you know there is once/twice a week that they do need to go out for a pee.

it was left with both of us not saying to much and we havnt really spoken all week.

but on thursday was one of those days where we went out to the garden and her washing was out, she came storming out of the house and dragged in all her washing (i just blanked her as i knew it would become an argument) but the kids were talking to her and she said "im taking it in so the dogs dont jump all over it"

i knew she was ticked of so i have stayed out of MY back garden all weekend, but yesterday we took the dogs to the park where they both did a pee and a poop, and when we got back the kids said they wanted to play outside so me thinking well there not going out there to pee she wont be anyoed, BIG MISTAKE!

she came out and started shouting and saying that she has put up with a year of my dog s**t and p**s and she had had enough and wated the garden to be hygenic again for her son to play in.

me trying hard to meet on middle ground states the fact that they have already p**sed and s**t else where and we are only out to play, well apparently Gardens arnt there for dogs to play just kids, the dogs have been exersised so they should be put back in the house. :angry:

Im not joking im totaly torn up by this. I have no idea what to do.

she has her own front garden all to her self, i have no say in what she does in it, and i wouldnt dream of telling her what she can do with it,

we share the drying green but the bit at the back is mine so why am a not aloud my dogs out to play???

I have spent all day looking for a new place to live cause i feel like there is no other option but i just cant afford to move and to be honest i dont see why i should have to.

i dont know what to do or say to her because shes just not listening.

i could be a total bi**h and have my dogs out there peeing and pooping all day but i dont its just the once when im on my own that i may need to use it, and its my bloomiing garden :rant:

im getting worked up just writting about it.

i even said if it bothered her that much that i would walk them round my bit with the lead on so they wernt on the shared bit, but she doesnt want them out at all.

i just dont know what to do

 

[Debbie b]

Right firstly don't take this the wrong way, but do you own your house or renting it, if the later does the landlord know you have dogs, because if not then this could cause untold grief

If you own it, and it is writing that the back garden belongs to you, i would erect a fence and a gate nice big tall one your allowed 6 foot high and put a notice up saying private property no tresspassers, you are within your rights to do this as long as it doesn't block sunlight out if she.

If you rent it and the landlord is ok with you having dogs, ask his permision to do the same, saying you need a secure part for your children and animals,

When you have done either and the fence is errected write a letter and photocopy it to your neighbour stating that due to situations that are intorerable you now have fenced off your garden and under no circumstances that no one else other than you are to use it, then put seeing as you have a fairly big front garden there is no need for her to intrude in yours,

sigh off nicely and leave it at that if she doesn't like it then its just tough,

Debbie x

 

[k4tie-d]

Right firstly don't take this the wrong way, but do you own your house or renting it, if the later does the landlord know you have dogs, because if not then this could cause untold grief
If you own it, and it is writing that the back garden belongs to you, i would erect a fence and a gate nice big tall one your allowed 6 foot high and put a notice up saying private property no tresspassers, you are within your rights to do this as long as it doesn't block sunlight out if she.

If you rent it and the landlord is ok with you having dogs, ask his permision to do the same, saying you need a secure part for your children and animals,

When you have done either and the fence is errected write a letter and photocopy it to your neighbour stating that due to situations that are intorerable you now have fenced off your garden and under no circumstances that no one else other than you are to use it, then put seeing as you have a fairly big front garden there is no need for her to intrude in yours,

sigh off nicely and leave it at that if she doesn't like it then its just tough,

Debbie x

its rented, but the landlord is now a good friend and is happy about our dogs cats fish what ever lol and is happy for them to use the garden as long as we clean up after them, which of course we do.

the problem with the fence, is that i cant afford to do it, same as i cant afford to move

fencing isnt cheep, and to be honest the neighbour was a friend and im trying so hard to keep it that way i think doing a fence is a last resort.

She even has a trampoline and a little tikes house, on our land which i am so close to dragging and dumping round the front but i dont want to do it as i know that will just be saying goodbye to a peacfull life

rrrrrr!! its so blooming difficuilt, im looking out at the garden and its making me angey, want nothing more than to go and take the kids and dogs out to play but i feel like i cant.

 

[Debbie b]

Right firstly don't take this the wrong way, but do you own your house or renting it, if the later does the landlord know you have dogs, because if not then this could cause untold grief
If you own it, and it is writing that the back garden belongs to you, i would erect a fence and a gate nice big tall one your allowed 6 foot high and put a notice up saying private property no tresspassers, you are within your rights to do this as long as it doesn't block sunlight out if she.

If you rent it and the landlord is ok with you having dogs, ask his permision to do the same, saying you need a secure part for your children and animals,

When you have done either and the fence is errected write a letter and photocopy it to your neighbour stating that due to situations that are intorerable you now have fenced off your garden and under no circumstances that no one else other than you are to use it, then put seeing as you have a fairly big front garden there is no need for her to intrude in yours,

sigh off nicely and leave it at that if she doesn't like it then its just tough,

Debbie x

its rented, but the landlord is now a good friend and is happy about our dogs cats fish what ever lol and is happy for them to use the garden as long as we clean up after them, which of course we do.

the problem with the fence, is that i cant afford to do it, same as i cant afford to move

fencing isnt cheep, and to be honest the neighbour was a friend and im trying so hard to keep it that way i think doing a fence is a last resort.

She even has a trampoline and a little tikes house, on our land which i am so close to dragging and dumping round the front but i dont want to do it as i know that will just be saying goodbye to a peacfull life

rrrrrr!! its so blooming difficuilt, im looking out at the garden and its making me angey, want nothing more than to go and take the kids and dogs out to play but i feel like i cant.

do you know your trouble you are too nice and she knows it, thats why she is creating an atmosphere,

you need to make her understand that the only reason she is using your garden is because you say so,

tell her nicely that if she isn't willing to understand that, then she should move all her stuff out of yours and put in hers

Makes me so mad when someone is kind others use that

 

[Whippets Rule]

Is your landlord also her landlord,if yes then perhaps you could ask the land lord to have a word with her about your right to use your own garden.

i would also have a word with her in a very calm manner and ask her to remove her belongings from your garden if she feels she cannot use the space safely for her children because you have dogs and state that your own dogs have every right to use your garden to play in.

 

[k4tie-d]

Is your landlord also her landlord,if yes then perhaps you could ask the land lord to have a word with her about your right to use your own garden.
i would also have a word with her in a very calm manner and ask her to remove her belongings from your garden if she feels she cannot use the space safely for her children because you have dogs and state that your own dogs have every right to use your garden to play in.

no my land lords not hers, so there is nothing my landlord can do, except he gave us a copy of the deds so that we could show her exactly whats belongs to us and whats shared.

moving the toys i think will be the next stage, i just so hope it doesnt come to that

i havnt seen her since yesterday, but tomorrow we have a meeting at the nursery to do with fund rasing, so that should be fun :blink:

 

[fallenangel]

if she is fineding poo its more likly to be at poo espcily if its round edges. I had a nabour who was covinced a dog we had was pooing in her garden the fact that the fence was 7 ft high and he was my dads old terrer we were looking after maid no differnce she then even started opening our side get letting the dog out it did work as he would just come and sit at our front door. this whent on for about 6 months till in the end we found out who was doig the crapping it was her bloody cat.

pesronly I would be very nice about it I would get a little bottle of odour kill its safe on grass an smells like bubble gum let her see you put this down. But then allso say I have used this and it realy works but if you fined you still think theres a problem then maybe you should have your kids and there toys just in your garden at the front as thats your garden smile sweetly and walk away.

heres the link to get it http://www.animal-health.co.uk/eMerchantPr...p?idCategory=22 thouses that go to crufst know the smell as its the first you get as you walk in hall one its lovely i even put it in the last rince in my dogs bedding

 

[JAX]

I know you say you have a shared drying green , but if the land lords are differnt, then the rented land must also be different ,

personnally I would request nicely that sh euses HER front garden for her use and YOU use the back garden for your use

sad as it my be this might be the only outcome

 

[k4tie-d]

if she is fineding poo its more likly to be at poo espcily if its round edges. I had a nabour who was covinced a dog we had was pooing in her garden the fact that the fence was 7 ft high and he was my dads old terrer we were looking after maid no differnce she then even started opening our side get letting the dog out it did work as he would just come and sit at our front door. this whent on for about 6 months till in the end we found out who was doig the crapping it was her bloody cat.
pesronly I would be very nice about it I would get a little bottle of odour kill its safe on grass an smells like bubble gum let her see you put this down. But then allso say I have used this and it realy works but if you fined you still think theres a problem then maybe you should have your kids and there toys just in your garden at the front as thats your garden smile sweetly and walk away.

heres the link to get it http://www.animal-health.co.uk/eMerchantPr...p?idCategory=22 thouses that go to crufst know the smell as its the first you get as you walk in hall one its lovely i even put it in the last rince in my dogs bedding

she has never found a poo, i like to think im quite good at picking them all up,

9/10 times it will be within seconds of the dogs doing them, as like most whippets, my girls would love a tasty pooey treat :x

and im now starting to think the smell thing that she came out with to start off with was just an excuse to get the ball rolling so to speak, as she has now said the dogs shouldnt be in the garden at all!!

i can understand that shes not happy about the pee/poo, which frankly im not happy about it either, which is why they dont go in the garden for it.

but im not perfect and there is the odd day when you just dont feel like dragging yourself 2 wee kids and 2 dogs out in the rain/snow

and the days when we do get out which i would say is 5 out of the week.

we would like to feel we can go outside and play with the dogs but like i said theres just no reasoning with her at the min.

if she keeps going on the toys will be moved very soon, and if it keeps going after that well i guess a fence is the only other real option

 

[fallenangel]

just a thought could your land lord not help with fencing after all its his property hes fencing of even if its just the mess type chicken wire fencing with wooden post just to sepret whats hers from yours

 

[Janimal]

Aww Katie Im so sorry its come to this..

Ive had trouble with previous neighbours before but not over dogs.

Could you not agree to meet and have a chat about the whole situation, possibley with the landlord too...both trying not to get upset or mad

and sensibly talk out what you would both like. I cant think the two girls would make that much mess when you

take them out so much. I would be tempted to erect a fence between you, but as you say not possible..but who

knows if you can talk things out..she might just agree to this.

There is nothing worse than an atmosphere...in my opinion having a meeting together can be the only solution

or else its sounds like you will all fall out big style.

I hope the situation can be overcome....would the landlord not agree to pay for a fence if you cant sort things

out between yourselves.

One other solution I thought of would be to build a sand pit sort of thing with bricks...and use it as a doggy toilet....(in a little fenced off area)

and make sure that it is kept clean by yourselves...surely they would agree to this....

Good luck with it all Katie..I hope you can work something out soon.. :luck: :luck:

 

[jinnyfizz]

It's so easy to fall out with neighbours - especially if they are friends as well

Debbie b is talking good sense here. My first reaction was to say "fence your bit off" as sometimes children and dogs don't mix well and I'd also be inclined to worry about what this person may do to your dogs too (I always think the worst of people who kick off like this :- )

It does sound as though something has really got to her or someone else is winding her up - maybe one of her kids stepped in poo and trod it all around her house (and it didn't even have to be Star or Ruby's poo either!!!!)

A copy of the deeds to show which bit belongs to whom is a good idea, accompanied by a nice explanatory letter and a polite request for her to back off!!!!

Always put everything in writing and keep a copy as you never know when you may need it in the future :thumbsup:

I hope you can sort this out Katie. I can see why you don't want to push the situation but, in the meantime, Ruby and Star are suffering so it's not fair on your family at all :angry: Good luck, hun :luck: :luck:

 

[k4tie-d]

I know you say you have a shared drying green , but if the land lords are differnt, then the rented land must also be different ,
personnally I would request nicely that sh euses HER front garden for her use and YOU use the back garden for your use

sad as it my be this might be the only outcome

its hard to explain

so heres a wee drawing lol

the drying green is the small drak green square, with a path around it, all the green around it is our land.

none of it is fenced of as there has never been a need to. but both propperties have shared rights to the drying area, so hopfully you will see that i cant tell her that she cant use the back drying area.

its not a small garden and to fence it of we would need a good 20meters of fence i think, so thats the last thing i want to do.

im just so mad, that she has never said a thing untill now, and shes making such a fuss, when its not even hers :rant:

 

[k4tie-d]

Aww Katie Im so sorry its come to this..
Ive had trouble with previous neighbours before but not over dogs.

Could you not agree to meet and have a chat about the whole situation, possibley with the landlord too...both trying not to get upset or mad

and sensibly talk out what you would both like. I cant think the two girls would make that much mess when you

take them out so much. I would be tempted to erect a fence between you, but as you say not possible..but who

knows if you can talk things out..she might just agree to this.

There is nothing worse than an atmosphere...in my opinion having a meeting together can be the only solution

or else its sounds like you will all fall out big style.

I hope the situation can be overcome....would the landlord not agree to pay for a fence if you cant sort things

out between yourselves.

One other solution I thought of would be to build a sand pit sort of thing with bricks...and use it as a doggy toilet....(in a little fenced off area)

and make sure that it is kept clean by yourselves...surely they would agree to this....

Good luck with it all Katie..I hope you can work something out soon.. :luck: :luck:

i think your right janis but its so hard not to get mad,

it started as a conversation yesterday but just esculated to a scraming match, esspecially when she told me the dogs shouldnt be out at all :rant:

"back gardens are for kids not dogs" is what she said.

im so fumming i dont think i could sit with her just now. and as nice as our landlord is he doesnt want to get involved.

and he definatly wouldnt put money to a fence as he has just fixed the roof and grudgingly (sp) put in a new bath room :b

i think we will just have to leave it a few days till we all cool off.

its such a shame, cause we had what i thought was a good friendship, but i cant see it recovering after this

 

[tdavepat]

I think Katie, that you are trying to maintain a relationship that has already crossed the bridge. Your own feelings did not really matter to this neighbour when she first made her viewpoint known.

I would think she has chewed this over for some time before deciding she's had enough. She knew you would be hurt and she also knows, more importantly that you have no real solution. The other soultions she has plotted herself are unthinkable and a no-goer.

Get her to shift her belongings from your ground but you'll have to fence your dogs in as she will have grounds for complaint if they stray into the communal after that.

Good luck, I feel for your dilemma.

Dave

 

[k4tie-d]

I think Katie, that you are trying to maintain a relationship that has already crossed the bridge. Your own feelings did not really matter to this neighbour when she first made her viewpoint known.
I would think she has chewed this over for some time before deciding she's had enough. She knew you would be hurt and she also knows, more importantly that you have no real solution. The other soultions she has plotted herself are unthinkable and a no-goer.

Get her to shift her belongings from your ground but you'll have to fence your dogs in as she will have grounds for complaint if they stray into the communal after that.

Good luck, I feel for your dilemma.

Dave

thanks dave, thats kinda whats been going in my head, but im just so hoping that it sortts its self out amicabily (sp) for the kids sake if nothing else :b

 

[bertha]

If I were you I would get some of that cheap wind break green mesh and some bamboo canes, just put it round your bit, it is not permanent but just lets her know to keep off your garden. Ask the Landlord, if he is a friend if he could help in any way too.

Not a nice situation I know, good luck to you. lol

 

[ingsay2000]

Katie, I can give you some pvc mesh fencing, the type used for cordoning off events. It would be a compromise in the mean time. Its bright orange :x but it would at least look like youre making an effort to sort out the problem.

I know its a silly question but does she know the back garden isnt hers?

x

 

[k4tie-d]

Katie, I can give you some pvc mesh fencing, the type used for cordoning off events. It would be a compromise in the mean time. Its bright orange :x but it would at least look like youre making an effort to sort out the problem.
I know its a silly question but does she know the back garden isnt hers?

x

pmsl nicky,

will ask paul see what he thinks, thanks for the offer :thumbsup:

she sould i told her enough times yesterday and when she was looking at getting the trampoline she asked us if it would be ok to put it on our land, so yes she does, but i think she seems to think she has some rights or atleast some say in it?? :unsure:

 

[Juley]

I would write a short polite letter with the diagram you have put on here pointing out your area. I would state that your landlord is happy with you having the dogs on YOUR property and to this end you feel the best solution is for you to fence off your garden so that your dogs/kids cannot intrude into either the communal area or her front garden. Ask her to remove her property from your land and give her a time to do this in ( 7 days should be right).

Keep a copy of the letter, say good morning if you see her and hopefully she will calm down. I would also tell her that your dogs are regularly wormed and health checked and that you pick up and dispose of your dogs waste. She may be panicking over health issues.

Its important to do this in writing in case she decides to involve any other party. Good luck.