Anyone got a dog themed joke?

[Sezzy]

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What do you call a dog magician?
.....a Labracadabra

 

[Violet Turner]

What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had some kibble?
...That hit the spot!

 

[Josie]

 

[Sezzy]

 

[Josie]

Just what was needed on a Friday! Thank you @Sezzy

 

[Josie]

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?


The collie wobbles!

 

[Violet Turner]

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a jelly?


The collie wobbles!

 

[Sezzy]

Why are dogs bad dancers?
Because they’ve got two left feet

 

[Violet Turner]

Why are dogs bad dancers?
Because they’ve got two left feet

 

[Sezzy]

Did you hear about the dog that gave birth on the street?
She was fined for littering

 

[Violet Turner]

Did you hear about the dog that gave birth on the street?
She was fined for littering

that's good

 

[Sezzy]

What goes tick, tick, woof?

A watchdog

 

[JudyN]

Dog: My humans feed me and care for me and cuddle me. They must be gods.

Cat: My humans feed me and care for me and cuddle me. I must be a god.

 

[Flobo]

What do you get if you cross a dog with a vegetable?...A Jack Brussel
A dog has an owner. A cat has staff
What dog wears contact lenses?...A cock-eyed spaniel
( I'll stop now!!)

 

[Sezzy]

 

[leashedForLife]

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After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep into the pen, she reports to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for."
"But I only have 36 sheep!" says the farmer. "I know." says the sheepdog. "I rounded them up."

- from Norie Bloom of 
Honolulu, Hawaii

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[leashedForLife]

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"I spend three minutes every 
day, choosing a TV channel 
to leave on for my dog while I'm gone.
Then 
I go to work, and people take me seriously as an adult."

- Damien Fahey
.

 

[PupsterPassion]

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After a talking sheepdog gets all the sheep into the pen, she reports to the farmer: "All 40 accounted for."
"But I only have 36 sheep!" says the farmer. "I know." says the sheepdog. "I rounded them up."

- from Norie Bloom of 
Honolulu, Hawaii

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This is my fave

 

[leashedForLife]

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"I’m a dog trainer. Before meeting a new client, I asked her to fill-out a questionnaire.
One question asked, 'Why did you choose this breed?'
My client responded, 'I often ask myself this very question.'

- trainer Cindy Mauro of West Milford, New Jersey

.

 

[leashedForLife]

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"I dressed my dog up as a cat for Hallowe'en.
Now, he won't come when I call him."

- Reid Faylor